Disneyland is the devil (ya rly)

Disneyland. The world of magic. The world of cheer. The world of overpriced capitalistic corruption. Yes you read what you read. Disneyland is a great place (as I discovered when my girlfriend took me there for 3 days, yes 3 days), but it is not without its faults. For every happy girl who just received a stuffed animal, there is a sad male out there holding the receipt. For every cheerful child eating a Space Land hamburger and sipping on his cola, there is a sad parent out there mourning their $20. Yes, Disneyland is a source of pure evil capitalism. I was thinking about it from a stranger perspective the other day though (at like 2 am) and I figured that one could compare Disneyland to the most advanced nation in the world.

Disneyland is the an amazing creation. It is a place of pure revenue that uses other locations to generate goods and raw materials in order for it to expand its base of operations and get more money. Think of it this way, if Disneyland is the advanced nation among the 3rd world countries. It deals in deception (the place where dreams come true? I think not) and selling you overpriced goods which appear to have sentimental meaning (Eeyore stuffed animals are freaking $50). Much like illegal drugs, Disneyland hooks them when they are young (Hannah Montana?) and creates major revenue by scouting and marketing young children as we have seen in The Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears, etc. Their little child labor pool brings in major cash by marketing to their younger audiences who are still stupid in the ways of life by hooking them onto a "role model" artist like Miley and making them worship her like some kind of 16 year old goddess (for all those mothers who had intense cat fights over Miley Cyrus tickets I salute you). I mean when I was at Disneyland Miley Cyrus had her birthday party in the park and I didn't see a happy little fanbase of Miley Cyrus. It was more like a giant purple and pink cult of preteens who were stupid enough to pay $250.

Now I guess Disneyland does have some admirable traits like the fact that those underpaid men and women who dress up in costumes and meet children. That must be the hardest job ever because they are basically paid to pretend like they love everyone and prance around in suits that must melt their skin off. I mean they are great, but when I really thought about it, they are merely puppets in the massive Disney dream drugs. What are the Mickey Mouses and Goofys? Dream come true characters, sure, but their more important purpose is to get kids to love them. They are merely the dealers of the Disney LIES. Much like the priests who convert people in 3rd world countries, they are like the priests of Disney. They make us all love their Mickeys and Minnies so much that we buy buy buy everything. I mean honestly if you go to Disneyland and can spend less than $500 dollars there you are amazing. The food there alone could cost that. These characters are the harbinger's of destruction. They are the horsemen of the apocolypse. They are the reason why all of us know about Disney, whether we like it or not.

I'm done with my delirious rant now so all of you go to Disneyland and junk. I know you all watch Hannah Montana and High School Musical don't lie. Space Mountain FTW.