Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Source of All Evil

My friends, today I share with you a theory of mine that has been discussed with many a wise man. No longer shall we lay in our beds at night, not knowing when the evil may strike, but we shall stand strong against this evil united. This evil of course is the female period.

Why are they the source of all evil you may ask? Well I am here to explain. Periods are a uncomfortable part of female life. They come at assigned times often bringing with it destruction and chaos, as well as emotional explosions. What man, or woman, cannot say that a period has not ruined some occasion. Everything will be going great then BAM, chaos, screaming, tears, beatings, etc etc. The scariest part of all this is that the PMSing is in fact a lie. Women do not PMS, so periods are a mere excuse for all the women out there to be as bitchy as possible. This bitchiness is passed onto their spouses, kids, students, and all those who come in contact with the affected. No longer is one's day filled with happy smiling glee. No longer can you eat that food with a smile on your face knowing that all is well. No longer can you sleep at night, no not with the affected roaming. We must all hide in corners, fearing for when the rage will come.

In order to simplify this idea I have come up with an equation one can use, a mathematical proof if you will, to prove this idea:


Period= PMS
PMS=Woman Bitchiness
So, Period= Woman Bitchiness
Woman Bitchiness= Time x Gifts
Time=$; Gifts=$
Period= $^2
$=Root of all Evil

. . Period= Evil

This equation can be further expanded upon if one were also to consider that babies are in fact nourished by the evil nutrients of the period. Though periods do not in fact fuel the baby, a woman is most likely to get pregnant right after having her period. Thus a period can be seen as a foreshadowing of doom. It is like a red river of death that warns the males of their impending slavery to the female. If one were to consider this, then babies could also be considered evil. Because babies arise from the evil, they are in fact evil incarnate. However, people are not pure evil because evil has a half life. This is because as one grows, one weans itself off of the evil nutrients. However, evil always exists in people in some form due to the trace amounts that remain inside. This explains many human actions such as the formation of the Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, and High School Musical.

I hope this has been an informative post.


Today while I was browsing the internet, I discovered that Lil Wayne may be making a rock album. While he certainly does have some writing talent, as seen by the disgustingly catchy single "Lollipop", rock is a genre he may wish to avoid. Many artists like to venture into genre's unknown and that has had some positive results, though I do still despise many rap rock bands. However, is a rock album really the best choice for a rapper such as Lil Wayne? I mean hes on fire right now with his Tha Carter III album, should he really try to do a Kanye West genre switch. Below I have put one of his better solos. The new single that leaked is not currently available on legit sites, so you will have to either way to find alternative means to hear that.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Bang Camaro

Bang Camaro is a Rock n Roll Choir. Yes I know that sounds weird, but hey it works. I just listened to their music today and would have to say that their tunes are incredibly catchy. For those who haven't heard this newer band, Bang Camaro is a rock band with a drummer, bassist, 3 guitarists, and between 10-20 vocalists. Yes 10-20 vocalists. I have no idea how they deal with lead singer disease, but major props to them. Apparently the band was created by guitarists Bryn Bennett and Alex Necocheaas a sort of project to play 70s/80s based "anthem rock" as they call it. Whatever it is, it is catchy as hell. With a choir of lead singers belting out catchy choruses and guitar solos flying it brings back nostalgia for all that was lost in the great grudge boom of the 90's.

This of course brings up the question of if Bang Camaro can make it in the music scene of today. Though bands like Avenged Sevenfold have brought back some of the shred, the music scene in America is still very hip hop and poppy. I suggest checking this band out because though some may find its sound a bit dated for the modern airwaves, it does seem to successfully revive a lot of the rock and roll spirit.

Life is But a Dream (WIP)

Lately I haven't been able to sleep much. I have no idea why. My first theory was that my friend Alicia infected me with her laziness, but I figure that laziness is not a real disease, and thus cannot be transferred. My second thought was that I may have some sort of insomnia, but after reading the typical causes (anxiety, stress, schizophrenia, mania (bipolar disorder), and depression) it seemed that I was most likely not an insomniac. Though I am slightly crazy, I doubt that I can be considered schizophrenic or bipolar. However, no negative aspect is completely negative as this lack of sleep, or more like gain in awakeness has let me think of many stranger things in my partially delirious, sleep deprived mind. Though most of the thoughts are pretty random and have basically no point, I have been thinking a lot about existence and lucid dreams.

Lucid dreams are dreams in which the dreamer is in fact aware of what is occurring and often can have some influence on the dream. Supposedly these dreams are usually incredibly realistic and can even cause one to be deceived into believing its a reality. With this in mind I began to think about life in general. I mean what is life? Could this all be some sort of illusion like a lucid dream? Of course one could argue that this is impossible as there are many different individuals in this dream. I thought of a few different scenarios where this could be true though.

Take for instance the Tom Cruise Vanilla Sky scenario which not only shows us that Tom Cruise was a pretty damn good actor before his Scientology craziness, but also that in his lucid dream state set upon him by a cryogenic company in a futuristic world makes the world seem incredibly real. The people in his dream even believe they are real. So could we all be figments of some random person's imagination? Though this could be incredibly interesting to pursue, I doubt this could be true. We are a much to diverse world for one man and his mind. There is always a chance for this to be true if a person were in fact one with many different personalities, but still very implausible. These thoughts of course led me to theories more like The Matrix.

The Matrix of course had a sort of illusion like a lucid dream set up. They had a giant network of human batteries hooked to a central computer system that projected a sort of dream into one's mind to create a new reality. The only flaw in this logic is that we lack the flying people/random transforming agents. But what if our reality is in fact a similar creation? What if we are all sleeping and our dreams are projecting into some sort of giant dream catcher that drives us to share dreams with others who are dreaming. We only remember our dreams because when we wake up for those six hours or so every night, we are in fact experiencing a drugged up reality where we are in fact adapting to drugs used on us to keep us as batteries or whatever else some alien force or magical being is using us for? Or what if we are mere spiritual beings floating in infinite space projecting our thoughts to a giant spiritual being, our "world", which then translates our thoughts and such into the rules of the world? ARE WE MERELY FLOATING BLOBS PLAYING A GIANT MMORPG?!?!?!? If this were the case, so many new questions would arise. Like do we have levels like in World of Warcraft and how the hell do you get to level 70?

I will now stop my crazy thought post, but will probably follow up on this in a more focused manner once all my thoughts begin to clear up. I hope you enjoys a tired man's rant on life as a dream.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Contemplating Humanity (a short thought)

"People need Connectors
Writers, heroes, stars, leaders
To give life form.
A child's sand boat facing
the sun.
Plastic soldiers in the miniature
dirt war. Forts.
Garage Rocket Ships

Ceremonies, theatre, dances
To reassert Tribal needs & memories
a call to worship, uniting
above all, a reversion,
a longing for family & the
safety magic of childhood"

-Jim Morrison

As Inauguration Day draws near, I find myself questioning what makes this new presidency so "historic". Everybody seems to be boosting this event up to unrealistic standards, which seems to suggest that somehow the Obama presidency will cause massive healing of problems. It is as though people expect all the financial and social woes to disappear once Obama steps foot into the White House. Yet, what if Obama's very act of becoming president is what this nation needs? After all, humanity has never really been a dominant species because of its features, but rather its leaders.

If you think about it, what is humanity without it's leaders? Would we be like rats, scurrying around in anarchy? Would we be destroying ourselves for the very rush of destruction? Is a solid leader the only thing that unites us? America isn't like anywhere else in the world. It is a large, powerful nation that has somehow managed to remain united. So are Obama fanatics in a way very correct about Obama saving the world (or at least the world as they know it)?

Obama could be considered a key. A political figure that is in touch with the shifting community that demands something fresh. He connects with our nation. We see traits that we know and love. His blackberry addiction, basketball skills, and kids. This is his true power. True power is merely an extension of the people's power. Look at all the most powerful leaders. Though many of them may be considered poor leaders, or led in ways which are controversial they did in fact have given power. I think the best examples would be Hitler, Andrew Jackson, and Chairman Mao. These leaders led in very diverse ways, but all had one thing in common. They had the support of the up and coming generations.

The way they achieved this power seemed to vary, but they all seemed to be hip and with it. Pushing new agendas and pleasing the people was their main strategy. With a bunch of content people, anything can be pushed into law. Look at Hitler and Mao. Though not considered the best leaders by today's standards, they did create a sort of legacy. Hitler was even elected into this position of power. Mao on the other hand was very popular with the youth's for part of his tenure and was given power through their participation.

I'm not saying Obama is going to plunge us into a era of socialism, but that he holds potential for being the key thing America seems to be lacking. Obama can represent a more present America, motivate progress, and improve the overall American image. Because think about it, what do people most identify objects with? Figureheads sit above all else. Think Britain:The Queen. Think Terrorism: Al Qaeda. Think Guitar: Jimi Hendrix. Think Reggae: Bob Marley. Think WMDs: Bush Admin.

Think America: Barack Obama.