The Source of All Evil

My friends, today I share with you a theory of mine that has been discussed with many a wise man. No longer shall we lay in our beds at night, not knowing when the evil may strike, but we shall stand strong against this evil united. This evil of course is the female period.

Why are they the source of all evil you may ask? Well I am here to explain. Periods are a uncomfortable part of female life. They come at assigned times often bringing with it destruction and chaos, as well as emotional explosions. What man, or woman, cannot say that a period has not ruined some occasion. Everything will be going great then BAM, chaos, screaming, tears, beatings, etc etc. The scariest part of all this is that the PMSing is in fact a lie. Women do not PMS, so periods are a mere excuse for all the women out there to be as bitchy as possible. This bitchiness is passed onto their spouses, kids, students, and all those who come in contact with the affected. No longer is one's day filled with happy smiling glee. No longer can you eat that food with a smile on your face knowing that all is well. No longer can you sleep at night, no not with the affected roaming. We must all hide in corners, fearing for when the rage will come.

In order to simplify this idea I have come up with an equation one can use, a mathematical proof if you will, to prove this idea:

Period=Evil

Proof:
Period= PMS
PMS=Woman Bitchiness
So, Period= Woman Bitchiness
Woman Bitchiness= Time x Gifts
Time=$; Gifts=$
Period= $^2
$=Root of all Evil

.
. . Period= Evil

This equation can be further expanded upon if one were also to consider that babies are in fact nourished by the evil nutrients of the period. Though periods do not in fact fuel the baby, a woman is most likely to get pregnant right after having her period. Thus a period can be seen as a foreshadowing of doom. It is like a red river of death that warns the males of their impending slavery to the female. If one were to consider this, then babies could also be considered evil. Because babies arise from the evil, they are in fact evil incarnate. However, people are not pure evil because evil has a half life. This is because as one grows, one weans itself off of the evil nutrients. However, evil always exists in people in some form due to the trace amounts that remain inside. This explains many human actions such as the formation of the Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, and High School Musical.

I hope this has been an informative post.