Stantonism

(Image/info used with permission from the great one)

Matt Stanton is a great man and personal hero. People know very little about Stanton and his greatness, so I have compiled a list that illustrates his greatness:

1. Matt Stanton can bench 9000...and 1
2. Matt Stanton keeps it real
3. Matt Stanton's tears contain gold
4. Matt Stanton can fly, but chooses not to
5. Matt Stanton is asexual
6. Matt Stanton can pity Mr. T
7. Matt Stanton has enough brain energy to pick up large encyclopedias with his MIND
8. Matt Stanton poops bricks of pure platinum *AR
9. Matt Stanton can do calculus with his fingers
10. Matt Stanton once killed a man with his TI-83
11. Matt Stanton does not sleep, he calculates
12. Matt Stanton is made of dark matter
13. Matt Stanton can see into different solar systems
14. Matt Stanton lives long and prospers
15. Matt Stanton controls the economy
16. When Matt Stanton bleeds, the world bleeds
17. Matt Stanton can cure all diseases with his saliva
18. Girls can't kiss Matt Stanton because his greatness would cause them to implode
19. Matt Stanton once debated with God and won
20. Matt Stanton fought Chuck Norris. They tied.
21. By gazing upon Matt Stanton, there is a 5% chance of getting cancer from the epic beams of light that emanate from his glowing body
22. Matt Stanton solves the meaning of life...everyday
23. Every time Matt Stanton cries, God kills a antelope
24. Matt Stanton once played Crysis for 2 weeks...without blinking
25. Matt Stanton's hugs cause internal bleeding

*Contributed by Primary sources

If anyone else out there has knowledge of the great one, please contribute by commenting and adding them. If enough are added I'll add yours to the list. Additionally if anyone has any ideas about a Stanton religion please post. I think Stantonism would involve listening to an hour of metal everyday to purify ourselves. Thanks Much.